How to authentically judge yourself & keep your stress level on a reliable high

Are you fed up with the toll that the constant ups and downs in you life take on your energy level? Here are 7 tried and tested strategies to make life more reliably stressful.

1. Morning List

Create a targeted follow-list for all your social media channels collecting influencers & loose acquaintances who will make you jealous and question your life choices in no time. Access and scroll through these lists first thing in the morning for at least 30 minutes. Let your judging über-ich flow freely. It‘s not important if the judgements that come up make sense or create a consistent story. The main goal is to establish a habit of judging yourself with ease.

2. Allies report

Ask your parents to call you at least twice a week and minutely report on all their neighbours kids, all your successful relatives and anyone you ever went to school with. Only interrupt them if you valuable questions to enhance the shame. If you have some extra time after the call, manifesting it‘s effects by stalking the most inspiring people your parents referred to might make sense.

3. Duty call

When arriving at work, sit down at your desk, dive into your screen & never look up until the sun goes down. Before you leave work, make sure to write a „forgot to do list“ and call your boss to find out which items on the list piss her off the most. Underline those in red.

4. Body hostility

Make it a habit to hop on your scale after dinner every day. If you can, compare your changes in weight to the staggering results of the current most popular before-and-after-influencer on instagram. Definitely make sure to do so respecting your individual journey of failures.

5. Be in the future

Easy, accessible and simple: Read the latest article on climate change. Then, systematically go through all the comments.

6. Breath work

Hold your breath for 15 seconds, pant for another 15, repeat three times and then keep sitting with your thoughts for as long as you can, examining every single one of them as thoroughly as possible.

7. End your day in the right way

Scroll through LinkedIn for at least 15 Minutes, then lie down with your phone right next to you and let your routine take effect. Feel the impressive heaviness on your chest, the flinching of your limbs and that rapid twitch of the tiny muscle above your left eyebrow.

 

Isn’t this impressive? Just stick to this simple routine and a constant, stable stress level will be available to you 24/7.


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